Relocating With Family: An Easy Guide

Worried about relocating with your family? Don’t know how to transfer your child to a new school or help them prepare for the move? Yes, moving is hard. Yes, moving is stressful. And yes, moving with kids is hard and stressful. But let this guide help make this experience a little less anxiety-inducing. We’ll cover key details related to moving logistics, preparing kids emotionally for the move, and transferring schools—as well as a few specific situations, like getting permission to move out of state in a custody agreement and moving with a newborn. This information will prepare you for your fresh start!

Family Moving Logistics

When relocating with your family, you still have all the items on a normal moving checklist to consider—as well as a few others.

Belongings

Kids can have strong feelings about their possessions! If you’re decluttering before your move, make sure you involve them in deciding what they want to keep.

In addition, when you pack for your move, bring some toys or games in an overnight bag for your kids; this can help entertain them if they arrive in a new place with little to no belongings.

Timing Your Move

When you’re relocating your family, time your move deliberately. Changing schools is often hard for kids. Consider moving in the summer so your kids can start school in the fall along with their classmates. Since everyone’s in a new class in the fall, the transition will be easier for your kids than if they have to start mid-year. However, you can also move during the winter and allow your kids to begin the spring semester with their classmates.

Also, consider whether you want the bulk of your planning, packing, and cleaning to occur when your kids are in school or out of school. There are pros and cons to each. Your moving schedule is more flexible if kids are out of school, but it’s also harder to pack and clean with children in the house.

Transportation Options

Moving means choosing between transportation options like doing a DIY move, renting a truck, hiring labor-only movers, finding a full-service moving company, and using PODS. It’s always a balance between convenience and budget. Here’s how relocating with family enters the equation.

Budget-Friendly Options

With a family, a DIY move is especially hard since you need to transport kids in your car along with your belongings. Goodbye, backseat! However, if you want to do as much of the move on your own as possible, consider renting a trailer you can tow behind your car.

Also, think about caring for your kids on moving day. Since it’s hard to monitor kids while moving boxes, an affordable option is to hire labor-only movers, who can help you with the heavy lifting while saving you the cost of a full-service company.

Driving With Kids

A lot of people choose to drive to their destination while moving. If you’re driving with kids, remember kids need more breaks than adults do on road trips. Make sure you plan plenty of places to stop for bathroom breaks and let your kids stretch their legs.

Helping Kids Cope With Relocation

Moving is stressful for everyone. Even if kids don’t have to help with the logistics, a family relocation is a huge upheaval for them. However, there are many ways to help your child cope with a move.

Before The Move

Early Communication

It’s important that kids know what’s coming on the move. Give them important details about the move: where they’re going, when they’re going, and what the new home will look like. It’s a great idea to visit your new home and town with them early on so they know what to expect.

Emotional Awareness

Understandably, relocating is hard for kids. Keep their emotions in mind, and talk to them about what they’re feeling.

Come up with ways to help them deal with the move emotionally, whether it’s making a list of places in their hometown that they want to say goodbye to or setting them up to stay in touch with their friends through postcards.

Inclusion

Let your kid be a part of the process. This can help give them some control over a scary change.

Give them a chance to pack their own room (with your supervision and instruction, of course). Let them make some of the decisions about what stays and what goes. If they’re involved in the planning, they might get excited about organizing their new room!

After The Move

Relocating is a big disruption for kids. This disruption might manifest as toddlers throwing more tantrums or older children struggling with their mental health. Luckily, there are ways to help your kids cope with the post-relocation transition.

Continuity

Even though many things are changing, kids benefit from continuity. Provide your children as much continuity as possible after a relocation. Keep up their old routines and establish new ones. For example, keep bedtime rituals the same. If they play a sport, set them up to continue with it in their new home. And, if their schedule fluctuates as they—and you—settle into a new place, give them a roadmap of the day ahead.

Patience

Be patient with your kids. They might act out after relocating, but that’s okay; they just need some time to adjust to a new environment.

For younger kids or toddlers, reward good behavior, and praise them for things they do well in their transition. If they throw a tantrum, downplay rather than escalate the situation, and establish appropriate consequences if needed. For older kids, you can be there to discuss the transition with them and let them know what they’re doing well.

Connections

Help your kids feel connected to their old and new communities. If possible, you can take them to visit old friends, or help them stay in touch with people from their home.

It’s important for them to form new connections after the relocation, so get them involved in the community through activities like clubs and by visiting local parks, libraries, and more. If they’re going to start a new school soon, you can take them to check the school out as well.

Transferring Schools

After relocating with your family, you need to set your kids up at a different school. Districts have different transfer policies, so stay in touch with both your current and new district about your situation.

Transferring to a new school takes a few steps. Start by notifying your current school that you will be moving. They may have paperwork for you to fill out.

Then, start researching schools in your new district. Think about what matters most to you, whether it be academics, special education services, or sports. You can contact potential districts and even ask to tour schools so you can find the right fit for your child. Begin the process early since some schools have waiting lists.

Once you’ve chosen a school district, contact them to learn about their policy for registering new students. They’ll provide you paperwork to complete, and you’ll need documents like immunization records, proof of residency, and your child’s educational record. If your child has an Individualized education plan, prepare to present documentation for this as well.

Transferring Elementary Schools

The logistics of transferring elementary schools are not too complicated. In addition, kids in elementary school may have an easier time adapting to a new environment than older children.

Still, younger kids might have separation anxiety going to a new school after a family relocation. Some tips for dealing with separation anxiety include sending them to school with a comfort item or teaming up with teachers during drop-off to ensure a smooth hand-off.

To set elementary school kids up for a successful adjustment, get them any new school supplies or uniforms they need for their new school. Also, get them involved in summer activities or arrange a playdate (for younger kids) so they can make friends going into the school year.

Transferring Middle Schools

Middle schoolers might be anxious about starting at a new school after relocating with their families. But there are some things you can do to help.

If your kids have time over the summer, get them involved in activities so they can meet people in the community. You can take middle schoolers to visit their school early so they can figure out where everything is and practice opening their locker. Lastly, you can also take them shopping for missing school supplies or clothes. This doesn’t need to break the budget; thrift stores have plenty of options!

If they’re starting mid-year, a great tip is to have them start school on a Wednesday or Thursday. This way, they have the weekend to recover from some big days.

Transferring High Schools

Transferring high schools can be a bit more complicated than transferring elementary or middle schools since high schools have more specific graduation requirements and more choices for classes.

Follow the same steps as above and submit a transfer request a few months ahead of the move. In this situation, the guidance counselor can be very helpful. If your kid is relocating to a district with different graduation requirements, the guidance counselor can give you advice on making sure your child still meets these requirements. In addition, if your student has missed course selection, they can help come up with a plan for moving forward.

High schoolers might want less guidance than younger kids, but you can still help them brainstorm about getting involved in extracurriculars; this will be a great way for them to make friends in a new environment.

Other Common Situations

Getting Permission To Relocate

If you are currently in a custody agreement with another parent or legal guardian, here are some steps for relocating out of state with your child. Make sure you consult the laws in your state for more details.

Family Relocation Definition

Relocating within a custody agreement occurs when you move out of state or to an area that impairs the ability of the children’s other guardian to use their custodial time. If you’re moving to a neighborhood or town that is still relatively close to the other guardian, you are not involved in a relocation.

Family Relocation Permission

If you have a custody agreement and are considering relocating your family, first check the terms of the agreement. It might specify conditions for relocating or prohibit relocation.

If the custody agreement does not contain this information, you can try to obtain the consent of the other parent to relocate. Depending on the state, you must give proper notice of the relocation 30 to 90 days in advance. The other custodial parent must then agree with the relocation, meaning if you don’t come to an agreement, you will either have to settle the dispute in mediation or court.

Typically, a court will evaluate the relocation based on a number of factors, like whether the move will benefit the kids and the relocating parent. Other factors, like if you are moving to a state closer to extended family who will help care for the child, may also help in getting permission. A parent with 50-50 custody will have a greater burden of proof than a parent with sole custody.

Once again, these terms vary from state to state. Consult a lawyer and check your state laws before attempting to relocate with your kids.

Moving With A Newborn

Relocating with your family presents different challenges when you have a newborn. First, the upsides. Newborns won’t have the same emotional attachment to your home and city as older kids. In addition, depending on their age, they might be dozing during the day, giving you valuable time to prepare for the relocation.

Start your house cleaning and packing early. With a newborn to attend to, you don’t want to be rushed for time as moving day arrives. As you finish your packing, pack up a bag of key supplies your newborn needs for a few nights, like diapers, bottles for feeding, and more.

Consult your newborn’s doctor about the move. They can offer advice for keeping your baby up to date on care as you adjust to a new place. For example, they can help you plan to make sure your newborn gets the right vaccines in time.

Lastly, consider your mode of travel. Flying can be easier than driving with a newborn since newborns require frequent breaks in cars and are less likely to cry on airplanes than slightly older kids. However, germs are always a risk on planes.

Conclusion

Moving can be tough, but it can also be the start of something amazing. When relocating with family, take care of logistics related to kids’ belongings, timing, and transportation options. Help your kids prepare for the relocation by communicating early, thinking about their emotions, and including them in the process. Plan to transfer their school or high school. Lastly, if you’re in a custody agreement or moving with a newborn, follow our advice for approaching these situations.

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